I know. It’s not easy to talk about it. Most people don’t want to talk about it. But we all know that we can’t skip it, by simply not talking about it.

You guessed it right. I mean end of life discussion. It is an uncomfortable and unsettling topic to discuss. How could someone discuss their own death or talk about their loved one’s death while everything is normal.

“I’m still young.”

“I’m healthy and fit.”

“I eat good food, exercise and just completed my annual physical exam and everything is normal.”

“I still have time. We can talk about it later.”

That’s what many say to themselves to stay away from this topic. Unfortunately, I admit patients every day that did not tell their family their wishes, and now they can’t. Because they are very sick, on ventilator and cannot make decisions. When I ask the family about their wish, they don’t know what to do. It makes it extremely difficult and emotionally challenging for them to make a decision.

Having end of life conversations with family members is not an easy topic to discuss, but it is an essential part of ensuring that your wishes are known and respected in the event that you are unable to make decisions about your care. These conversations involve discussing your goals of care, code status, and preferences for aggressive medical care. It’s important to be specific about the types of treatments you want or don’t want, as well as any religious or cultural beliefs that may impact your decisions.

One important topic to discuss is code status. A “do not resuscitate” (DNR) order means that if your heart stops or you stop breathing, medical staff will not perform CPR or use a ventilator or other life support machines to try to revive you. It’s important to make sure that your family members and physicians are aware of your code status and understand what it means for your care.

Another important topic to discuss is the use of a ventilator or other life support machines. These machines can help you breathe and support other bodily functions, but they can also prolong the dying process and may not always align with your goals of care. It’s important to discuss your preferences for the use of these machines and whether or not you would want them used in certain situations.

In the event that you are unable to make decisions about your care, it’s important to have a designated healthcare proxy or decision-maker who can speak on your behalf. This person should be someone who understands your wishes and can communicate them clearly to physicians and nurses. They should also be prepared to make difficult decisions and advocate for your wishes, even if they may differ from their own beliefs.

When discussing end of life conversations with your family, it’s important to emphasize the importance of living well and how aggressive medical care may impact your quality of life. By being specific about your preferences, code status, and use of life support machines, you can ensure that your wishes are known and respected. It’s also important to revisit these conversations periodically to ensure that your wishes remain the same or to update them as needed.

In summary, having end of life conversations with family members is an essential part of ensuring that your wishes are known and respected. Discussing your goals of care, code status, and preferences for aggressive medical care, as well as having a designated healthcare proxy, can provide peace of mind for both you and your loved ones. By living well and being specific about your wishes, you can ensure that you receive the care you want and avoid unnecessary interventions at the end of life.

I welcome your thoughts and comments. Please feel free to let me know if you have any questions by posting your comments below.